Well, this is unfortunate.

Here’s how I suspect this happened:


Homeowner: I need new windows.  I’ll call a replacement window company! (dials phone)

TW Rep: Hello! Thanks for calling Terrible Windows!

Homeowner: Yes I was calling to see about getting some replacement windows for my house.

TW Rep:  Sure!  Our windows our rated #1 by an unnamed consumer magazine that is published in the basement of our headquarters and used to line the litter box of our 3-legged company cat, Stumpy Furbucket.

Homeowner: I live in an older home and the window size is unusual.  Do you have various sizes available to choose from?

TW Rep: Our windows can be customized to fit any opening.

Homeowner: That’s great!  How much are your windows?

TW Rep: We’re currently having a “Buy One, Get 9 Free” sale.  And if you refer us to 10 of your friends, we’ll throw in free installation, a free matching screen door, a free 3-legged cat, and a voucher for free snorkeling lessons from White River Scuba and Chemical Disposal.

Homeowner: Sold!


Do you know of a property that should be included in WTH Wednesday? Email Eugene at and let him know.

3 responses to “WTH Weds: One Size Fits None”

  1. ann heck says:

    we had an antebellum house with odd windows and my husband (a teacher) spent 2 summers building storm windows—some windows had none so they could be opened–all the rest were built in tight–the house was bought by Franklin College and sold for $1!

  2. pony says:

    Yes these houses were probably lovely once upon a time. The money moved to the suburbs and the homes became occupied by poorer people who cannot keep up the appearances. Make fun of a house that people spent tons of money on and still did a crappy job, but making fun of people because they bought the windows they could afford is just bitchy.

  3. Paul Diebold says:

    It costs very little to repair a window. It costs even less to do nothing to the window and put on a sweater. The Association for Preservation Technology has just completed studies that prove that old windows, properly repaired and insulated with storm windows, at comparable cost to new windows, can perform on par or even out-perform new windows. The repaired windows will certainly outlast cheap windows like these. It’s a sorry state of affairs when we assume that the best we can do or expect to have for the renting working families in this country are cheap windows that actually cost more than real windows.

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